Do you have some resolutions this year?  I do.  I plan to spend more time with my son smiling and laughing and less time correcting and judging.  I plan to spend more time listening and less time thinking of what to say next.   I plan to be a better wife when I want a better husband.  I plan to beg for what I need instead of expecting it from everyone.  I plan to tell those I love that I love them and spend less time waiting for them to tell me.  

I plan to find peace in my alone time and just admit it for what it is not think constantly about what I should be doing.  I plan to enjoy my time with my family and stop thinking about what I should be doing at job and spend more time at work thinking about how to do my job better and worry less about what is happening at home when I am not there.

I plan to let my home get dirty if there is a game of chutes and ladders or sweets land to be played let my charts pile up at work if there is a patient that needs to talk a little more. 

I plan to quit taking my mom for granted and appreciate every day I have with her.  I will tell my friends how pretty they are when they smile and hug them when they are sad.

There are so many resolutions that we could make.  Why make resolutions that you can’t keep when there are so many that you can at least have a fighting chance at?  What do I mean?

Well why not make your goals attainable and worth while but most of all quantify it and be specific.  I think that is the most important part of goal setting.  For sample instead of saying I’m going to lose weight.  Decide how much you really need to lose.  If you need to lose 30 lbs. to get to an ideal body weight don’t make a goal to lose it in 2 weeks.  That’s not realistic.  Make your goal to lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks and perhaps 25 lbs in 4 weeks.  Make it attainable and find a plan to help you succeed.  Join weight watchers or a weight loss program ask your doctor for help find an exercise program.  If I haven’t said it before I love home exercise videos.  I started last year with my New Year’s Resolution to exercise more and bought a home video called “Turbo Jam”.  I loved it!  I did it religiously and soon felt better than I had felt in years.  I later bought “Core Rhythms” a Latin dance video exercise program.  I loved it even more and about 2 months ago I bought “The Wave” by “The Firm”.  It is a stair stepper that flips through into a rocking step that comes with videos. (I thought I would rest my neck on it the first time I tried it out…).  The best part is you can do them at home.  No drive time to a gym.  Not boring always moving unlike a treadmill or a bike.  You don’t have to purchase cute little exercise garment you can work out in cut off sweats and tank top if you want or your pajamas.  No one to impress and you can just dance your little heart out.  I have found it therapeutic and it has really increased my stamina and lung function (as I am an asthmatic).  I feel better in my clothes and eat pretty much what I want to.

It was hard in the beginning.  I felt really guilty “stealing” twenty or thirty minutes of time a night for myself and then I realized it is really self preservation.  If I feel better it trickles down to those I love.  I have more power to run outside with my little boy and receive long walks.  It lets me have the energy to play chase and hide and seek.  It helps me plain my head so that I can be a better listener for him when he tells me about tornadoes car washes and cartoons.

My New’s Year resololution started out to lose 10 lbs and it turned in to a life changing event.  I seldom miss a night.  I often do the abbreviated work-outs (15-20 minutes) but that seems to be just enough time to clear my head and breathe better.

If you find just one small goal and expand on it often it makes it attainable and may even go beyond your expectations.  Instead of coming up with a lot of crazy far out goals pick just one thing you can change about yourself and change it.

Don’t make excuses.  Don’t feel guilty about taking the time it takes to make it happen.  Get support from friends or family. 

If you want to quit smoking.  Set your goals realistically.  You have smoked for 20 years?  Don’t expect to quit in 24 hours.   Try setting a goal to quit by say oh March.  Anyone could quit if they had 3 months to do it right?  Get all your information lined up.  Have a specific goal.  How are you going to do it?  Will you do it by cutting down gradually and if so by how many a day?  Be specific.  If you are going to use a nicotine assist what kind would work best for you?  Do your research.  Sit down and determine why you want to quit.  Do something to help you commit like write a journal to your child and record everyday why you want to quit for them their health and yours.  Tell them how hard it is.  Keep it in a safe place when you have finally quit.  Read it to them.  Share your struggles with them it will make your success all the sweeter.  Save that journal somewhere safe and give it to them when they are grown and struggling with something to remind them that you as well struggled and that anything can be overcome.  Talk to your doctor.  Ask for help.  It’s not a sign of weakness but strength that you are willing to try to change.

Do you want to have a better relationship with your spouse a friend a co-worker?  Work on making yourself better first.  Sit down and make a list of all your own faults and shortcomings first so that you can better recognize what truly is hard to change or fix before you go asking someone else to change or fix comparable attributes.

I have so many things I would change about myself but there is only so much time.  I mentioned in my blog last week that my goal this year would be to recognize the things that I am most fearful of and oration them so that I can grow and study from them.  Fears that range from large crowds to embarrassing myself or losing my cool.  That is another idea of something you can do.  Decide the things that you are afraid of.  Face them head on and then make positive changes in your life.  Is it a boss that you are afraid of?  Identify what makes them intimidating and then find a solution so that they no longer have power over you.  Is it the fear of getting old?  Identify what is at the source of your fears?  Is it losing the love and regard of your spouse?  That you will not be attractive or loved?  Is it the fear of losing your strength and capacity to concern for yourself?  Is it that you will be helpless or alone?  Perhaps you could spend some time identifying the very core of your fear not just the surface of the fear and address solutions to accept or change what you can.

I had a restful vacantion this Christmas.  I enjoyed time with my little boy his new Christmas gift a black and white “tailess” cat…. Don’t ask….I don’t understand what happened to his tail. 

He was a humane association kitten.  My son picked him out.  We walked into the shelter and instantly I was absorbed by the smell of “animal”.  I thought for a minute about turning around.  I could conceive the smell on my couch my coat my sweaters.  My son had been so excited about this moment.  He could scarcely include himself.  We walked to the back led by a worker in the shelter and looked round at all the cats and kittens that were begging for a home.

“Hey Donnie!”  I called to him as he was racing around looking into each cage eagerly searching to make a connection with one of them.  I tried to get him to see the cute little tabby a mixed Siamese a beautiful long haired Persian mix.

Then he saw him….a little misfit black and white cat and then I noticed…NO TAIL.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse I looked along the room and saw a one eyed cat staring right at me.  I could only imagine that a cat with one eye would have little or no depth perception… missing the debris box scratching someomes eyes out on event and spilling his cat food… 

Donnie saw the one eyed cat the minute I did.  He ran over to it and looked at me.  “What happened to his eye Mommy?  Is he winking?”  He asked innocently.

“I don’t think so.”  I answered. 

My son had redirected his attention back to the tailless cat again.

I had decided that at least it wasn’t the one eye cat and as we made our way to the play room with the damaged little cat I saw him instantly crawl the cat tower only to topple right off the top.  No tail?  No balance?

But my little man had made an moment connection with the little black and white funny cat.  He had made up his mind and so we proceeded with the adoption. He has been a nice addition to our family.  A little off balance… but then who isn’t?

My son had decided that although we made great efforts to keep the entire Santa thing in perspective there may actually be a Santa Clause behind all.  He kept telling me I was wrong and he just knew that Santa would bring him lots of presents Christmas morning even after we had opened all of them on Christmas Eve.  I felt a little deflated when I saw his disappointment Christmas morning.  Had I done the right thing?  I said I would never lie to my Son even about trivial things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy.  Is there any harm in fantasy?  I guess I’ll never really know.  If there was any distrust he knows now that there is no Santa Clause. 

I guess all of us want to trust just a little.  There may be a little hope in all of us that makes it worth trying to change.  Trying to be a little better.  Loving a tailless cat or believing just a little that we all can change.

Maybe starting with ourselves.  Maybe believing starts there.  Maybe that’s the secret to making New’s Years Resolutions that will actually work.

For more information on smoking cessation techniques and reaching health goals please visit my website  www.drtammytucker.com.

Thanks for believing in me and all your support.   I wish you the best in the New Year.

Till Next Week

Dr. Tammy